Elegy, a lament for the dead.

Women are often stereotyped as caregivers, regardless of their desire or abilities. I thought it was a stereotype I’d flout, but the caregiving role is one I assumed for the last years of my mother’s life – suddenly I was in a club I’d watched from the sidelines but never thought I’d join. When I lost my mother and then, unexpectedly, my younger sister inside of 3 years, the experts advised “grief counseling” and “time and therapy.” I, on the other hand, wished I’d had more time to be a caregiver. Since 2011, I had been cataloging childhood memories and my family’s medical history through a series of portraits based on histopathology, the microscopic examination of diseased tissue. These “histo-portraits” combined scientific illustration and unconventional portraiture to map the biological journeys of loved ones. I’ve continued with histo-portraits but changed the materials, creating ink from the ashes of medical records and repurposing the tangible items left behind by my mother and sister. These new portraits on paper and linen, combinations of fine art and craft, are an elegy to the women I’ve lost and a way to retroactively be a caregiver through drawing and embroidery.